From childhood, I have always been a good dancer. I remember the childhood days when I used to dance with my friend suppu in our neighbours houses.But somehow, I always felt uncomfortable dancing infront of others. I was caught in a image battle so early in childhood and I was presenting different sides to different people.
I thought as a child( dont know whether my society made me think that way) that talking about films , expressing yourself in public are all "bad" qualities and will not be approved by others. My parents were not strict but somehow they didnt like films and things like that.
It was only during my Japan trip in 1998 for the world youth programme that I discovered the dancer and singer who was hidden behind an "image" makeup. The applause that I got after my "Humma Humma" and my dance performance really gave me the hunger to perform on stage. I Love being on stage..I love the attention..I love the fact that there are so many people watching me...
But I have suppressed it all for all these years and even after that, during my work also, I never couldnt overcome my conditioning. But once I came to Japan, I wanted to break free from the conditioning and I am taking conscious efforts not to fall into the image trap again. I dance at every opportunity, even create opportunities for dancing, sing all the time, tried alcohol and started enjoying wine, tasted sake with a raw fish in it and to top it all, tried Dog Fry offered by my lovely Vietnamese friends...I love the way I have transformed but there is still a long way to go..
Unlearning really helps but learning to unlearn is the challenge!!
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